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In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and s caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy your books. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.Copyright JLML Press (2025) All Rights Reserved
Crying, Screaming, Resisting, Sadness - Your Best Responses to Kids' Emotions
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and then, the increased closeness we felt with our child when those feelings ed. In this episode Janet celebrates YOUR illuminating, inspiring stories, and she's exceedingly grateful to you for allowing her to share them. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
24:42
Be Careful What You Teach - It Might Interfere With What They Are Learning
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
20:01
Dear Parents: You Are Not Failing
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ behavior. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
20:06
Embrace the Privilege of Parenthood (With Neha Ruch)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Janet’s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society’s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or “downshift" and an opportunity to find our ions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to and further their goals. Her new book, “The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever” will be out in mid-January. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
35:24
5 Daily Discipline Reminders
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel successful! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
30:23
How to Calm Ourselves (With Mr. Chazz)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
By now, we’ve all heard that Step One for effectively addressing our kids' behaviors and emotional storms is to first calm ourselves. Sounds simple, but as Janet has often shared, she believes this to be the biggest challenge we as parents face. Here's good news: Janet's guest this week is dynamic and ionate educator Mr. Chazz, and he has learned a self-calming process that he believes in 100%. Happily, he shares it in detail in this episode and who knows? It may very well come in handy this holiday season! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
41:56
When Our Kids Seem Troubled by Our Emotions and Moods
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
In this encore episode, a parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she its to her toddler that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him taking on the burden of other people’s emotions. They’re hoping Janet has some advice to help manage this delicate balancing act. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
21:00
Erratic, Unreasonable Behavior
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old's behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she’s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he's quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is pushy with his younger sister and gets easily overwhelmed when disappointed. He even behaved wildly and disruptively in a weekly music class he normally enjoys. Janet offers some basic guidelines for responding that she believes can be applied to almost every kind of behavior concern parents face. She hopes you find this helpful! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
27:25
Less Stress, More Joy This Holiday Season (With Ashlee Eiland)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet its she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the perfect gift and wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Day. Janet's more than ready to take off her Santa hat and find ways to do less and enjoy more but doesn't know exactly how to make it happen. Happily, this week's guest is inspirational pastor and community leader Ashlee Eiland, who shares loads of wisdom and actionable suggestions for prioritizing joy and meaning in the holidays, for our kids and us. Follow Ashlee on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_eiland/ Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
39:56
My Life With Adult Kids
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She shares on topics like boundaries, maintaining closeness, and how she's tried to her kids through struggles. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
21:06
When Kids Don't Seem Motivated (to Potty, Crawl, or Create)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
33:20
"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica s Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. Rae's website, information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com, and where you can sign up for her new program for parents "The Truth About Children". Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
29:45
Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent “New York Times” article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spend more time stimulating and actively playing with them. The jury's out as to whether these kids are benefiting from their parents' efforts, but they are undoubtedly feeling their parents' stress. Janet's view is that intensive parenting teaches kids they need intensive help. She believes that the key to being involved in the most positive manner in kids' lives is to better understand our role—where they need us to be leaders and when they need us to let go and trust them. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
32:21
Is Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise?
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
30:18
What's Too Strict? What's Not Strict Enough?
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
31:44
Character Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It's okay not to win… Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect. Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode. Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
29:34
Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-comion, showing us the way in this episode. You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: BeatingTrauma.com. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
45:42
Strict Is Loving
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, ive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages lifelong emotional resiliency in our kids. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
33:03
Am I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude. "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong." Janet encourages this parent to be more assertive with her own personal boundaries and clarifies what she means when she recommends accepting and acknowledging feelings. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
46:51
Everything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation)
Episodio en Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders where such intense, angry reactions from her daughter could be coming from and how to effectively respond. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
44:26
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