Midlife AF Podcast vx2q

This week I dive deep into the concept of "flow over force" when it comes to changing habits, particularly around alcohol use. I share my approach that moves away from shame-based, punitive methods and instead focuses on understanding our triggers, building self-comion, and creating safety within ourselves. Drawing from my experience as a neurodivergent mum, I explore how traditional recovery models often fail and introduce my "third way" method of approaching behavioural change. Key Takeaways: Punitive and shame-based approaches to habit change don't work, especially for neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma Alcohol is often a coping mechanism that helps people feel safe or escape difficult emotions Neurodivergent parents, particularly mothers, face unique challenges that can lead to using alcohol as a way to find space and relief True change comes from understanding your triggers and learning to be comionate with yourself The goal is not to "fight" against a behaviour, but to understand why you're using it and create alternative ways to meet those needs Interceptive awareness and learning to recognise and sit with emotions is crucial for sustainable change My 30-day Aussie Alcohol Experiment offers a ive, non-judgmental approach to exploring your relationship with alcohol Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: The GREAT Aussie Alcohol Experiment - LIVE June 2025 here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I discuss the importance of fierce self-comion and being fiercely alcohol-free, especially in the current challenging times we're facing. I share my thoughts on how self-comion is a key pillar for living an alcohol-free life and not wanting to escape from our experiences. I also talk about the societal stigma around alcohol use and how it prevents many people from addressing their relationship with it.  Key Takeaways: Self-comion is essential for creating sustainable change and lasting sobriety, as it allows us to approach our struggles with kindness rather than harsh self-judgment. The societal stigma around alcohol use prevents many people from seeking help or even acknowledging their relationship with it, perpetuating the problem. We often use alcohol to suppress, escape, and numb our difficult emotions and experiences, rather than learning to sit with and process them. Developing self-comion has two key aspects: the nurturing, comforting "yin" side and the fierce, boundary-setting "yang" side. Being fiercely alcohol-free means not only caring for ourselves with comion but also being willing to stand up and take action against the forces that perpetuate harmful drinking behaviors. In these challenging times, we need clear-headed, comionate individuals who are willing to fight for what's right and create the change we need to see in the world. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I discuss the important concept of not being "broken" and the harmful societal narratives that tell us we need to fix or control ourselves, especially when it comes to our relationship with alcohol. I share my personal journey of overcoming these beliefs and how my programs are designed to help people build emotional safety, self-comion, and an authentic connection with themselves - rather than focusing solely on abstinence.  Key Takeaways: Society has conditioned us to believe that if we have an issue with alcohol, it is our personal fault and we are "broken" - this narrative is harmful and untrue Alcohol is chemically designed to make us want more, exploiting our natural reward systems, yet the alcohol industry shifts the blame to the individual Many of our insecurities and feelings of unworthiness stem from childhood conditioning and the concept of "original sin" - the belief that there is something inherently wrong with human beings True healing and change comes from building emotional safety, self-comion, and an authentic connection with ourselves - not from a focus on abstinence or "fixing" ourselves My programs are about so much more than just alcohol; they guide people to unpack their core wounds, triggers, and unhealthy coping mechanisms to rediscover their essential, worthy selves Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs:   'From Crappy to Happy’  The Great Aussie Alcohol - LIVE 30-Day Experiment for a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU - without sacrificing, struggling, or feeling like you're missing out. 3rd March-1st April: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment

In this episode, I discuss the powerful insights I gained from a recent talk by author Liz Gilbert. I explore Liz's message about the importance of being the "calmest person in the room" and how this can be a source of true power, especially for women navigating the challenges of midlife. I delve into the pressure many of us feel to be constantly reactive, and how learning to pause, ground ourselves, and respond from a place of presence can transform our experiences - both personal and professional. This episode is a reminder that sometimes the most impactful change comes not from frantic action, but from the wisdom of self-regulation and inner calm. Key Takeaways: Liz Gilbert's insight that the "calmest person in the room" often holds the most power, and how this relates to women's experiences The importance of learning to pause, ground ourselves, and respond from a place of presence rather than reactivity The role of self-care practices like exercise, time in nature, and nervous system regulation techniques in cultivating inner calm Recognizing when our fight-or-flight responses are not serving us, and developing the skills to navigate challenging situations with more equanimity The ways that alcohol can contribute to a lack of emotional regulation, and how sobriety can create more space for presence   Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: 'Feel healthier, sleep better, get more done!’ Discover the secret to a ‘take it or leave it’ relationship with alcohol with my 5 Days To Freedom - Virtual Retreat - 17 February - 21 February @ 7:00pm-8:00pm nightly (live & recorded): https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/5day-vr 'From Crappy to Happy’  The Great Aussie Alcohol - LIVE 30-Day Experiment for a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU - without sacrificing, struggling, or feeling like you're missing out. 3rd March-1st April: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I sit down to have a conversation about the importance of developing a loving, comionate relationship with ourselves. As someone who has navigated her own challenges with alcohol, I share how cultivating self-kindness was pivotal to creating lasting change. We explore how our childhood attachment styles can shape our adult lives and the practical steps we can take to become the nurturing parent we always needed. Through delving into the neuroscience behind self-comion and the different attachment patterns, I offer insights and tools that can personal growth, whether you're looking to shift your relationship with alcohol or simply want to deepen your self-acceptance. This conversation dives beneath the surface-level strategies to uncover the deeper emotional and psychological factors that often underlie our struggles, providing a roap for true transformation. Key Takeaways: The root cause of many people's difficulties changing their relationship with alcohol is the harsh, self-critical inner voice - we must learn to treat ourselves with kindness first. Our attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) formed in childhood profoundly impact our adult relationships and self-perception, but these patterns are not fixed. Practices like loving-kindness meditation can help us become the nurturing parent we never had, healing the wounded parts of ourselves. Developing awareness around our triggers, motivations, and emotional patterns around alcohol is the crucial first step before making behavioral changes. Embracing all aspects of ourselves, including the parts we've rejected or made "bad," is key to lasting personal transformation. We can shift our attachment styles through inner work, learning to be the comionate caregiver we always needed. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: 'Feel healthier, sleep better, get more done!’ Discover the secret to a ‘take it or leave it’ relationship with alcohol with my 5 Days To Freedom - Virtual Retreat - 17 February - 21 February @ 7:00pm-8:00pm nightly (live & recorded): https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/5day-vr 'From Crappy to Happy’  The Great Aussie Alcohol - LIVE 30-Day Experiment for a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU - without sacrificing, struggling, or feeling like you're missing out. 3rd March-1st April: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705  

In this episode, I sit down to have an open and honest conversation about the powerful role that emotions play in our lives, especially when it comes to our relationship with alcohol and other coping mechanisms. I share my own personal experiences with getting triggered, experiencing "backdraft" when opening up to my emotions, and the societal pressures that can make it so difficult to be authentic. I dive into the importance of self-comion, building emotional safety, and learning to sit with and process our feelings, rather than trying to numb or escape them. This is a vulnerable discussion about the deeper work required to truly heal our relationship with alcohol and live more fulfilling, connected lives. Key Takeaways: Emotions arise 7 seconds before our thinking brain kicks in, often based on subconscious interpretations from our past experiences and childhood. Many of us have learned to suppress or numb our emotions, leading to a "backdraft" effect when we finally open up and allow ourselves to feel. Society often conditions us to behave in certain "acceptable" ways, making it risky and uncomfortable to be our authentic selves. Unprocessed emotions and unmet needs from childhood can be a major driver behind unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol use. Building emotional safety, self-comion, and the ability to sit with and work through difficult feelings is crucial for healing. Reconnecting to our true selves, rather than trying to fit an idealised societal mold, is a lifelong journey of courage and self-discovery. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I share my journey of learning to let go of resistance and embrace self-comion on the path to becoming alcohol-free. I discuss how our inability to feel and process pain is often at the root of unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, and share the importance of developing mindfulness to observe our thoughts and feelings, rather than getting caught up in them. I also emphasise the transformative power of offering ourselves kindness and understanding, just as we would a dear friend struggling. Through practices like the ice cube exercise, I demonstrate how we can learn to move through discomfort with greater ease and clarity. My hope is that this conversation inspires you to approach your own challenges with more self-acceptance and inner wisdom. Key Takeaways: Resistance, or wishing things were different than they are, is a major source of suffering and a barrier to change. Our aversion to feeling pain, often rooted in childhood experiences, drives us to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol use. Developing mindfulness to observe our thoughts and sensations, rather than getting caught up in them, is a crucial first step. Offering ourselves self-comion - validating our struggles and providing the care and understanding we needed as children - can profoundly transform our relationship with difficulty. Practices like the ice cube exercise demonstrate how we can learn to be with discomfort, rather than reflexively resisting it, allowing us to move through challenges with more ease. Making sustainable changes requires addressing the underlying beliefs and emotional patterns, not just relying on willpower. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the importance of emotional safety and awareness when it comes to reducing or stopping alcohol consumption. I chat about how awareness allows us to see the reasons behind our drinking, rather than just relying on willpower. I also ponder on the role of self-comion in this process, and how being kind to ourselves is crucial for making lasting change. This conversation is a deep dive into the psychological and emotional aspects of changing our relationship with alcohol. Key Takeaways: Awareness is key - understanding the reasons and emotions behind our drinking habits is more important than just trying to stop through willpower alone. Self-comion is vital - being kind and understanding towards ourselves, rather than harshly judging, is essential for sustainable change. Emotional safety is crucial - creating boundaries and surrounding ourselves with ive people helps us feel secure enough to address the deeper issues. Our drinking is often a symptom, not the root problem - it's about learning to manage difficult emotions and experiences in healthier ways. Reparenting ourselves with love and care can help heal the parts of us that have been suppressed or judged in the past. Awareness allows us to pause before reacting, giving us the space to choose a more constructive response. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I share my personal journey with alcohol and the freedom I found in making the decision to stop drinking for a year. I talk about the neuroscience behind alcohol addiction and how it acts as a survival mechanism in the brain. I discuss the importance of making a clear decision, rather than trying to moderate, and how that decision-making process can be freeing. I also touch on the role of willpower, the problems with the "drink responsibly" messaging, and the value of doing inner work to change beliefs around alcohol.  Key Takeaways: Alcohol triggers a dopamine rush that the brain interprets as a survival need, making it very difficult to moderate Making a clear decision, whether for a month, a year, or indefinitely, can be incredibly freeing compared to constantly debating whether to drink Willpower alone is not an effective long-term strategy for changing alcohol use habits The "drink responsibly" messaging promoted by the alcohol industry is problematic and places the blame on the individual Doing inner work to challenge beliefs and assumptions about alcohol can be a powerful part of the change process Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Wishing you could stop at that elusive 2nd glass of wine instead of finishing the bottle? Let me show you how easy it can be to go from feeling tired, bloated, overwhelmed and slugglish to jubilantly full of beans and ready to take on the world with my Masterclass & 30 day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment this Sept/October. 🤸‍♀️ FREE Masterclass: 5 Suprising Ways Taking A Break From Booze Can Be Effortless and Change your Life: Wednesday 25th September 7pm Replays Available https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/sep24masterclassreg 🤸‍♀️ The 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - LIVE! Monday 30th September-29th October 2024 - 7pm nightly (optional) https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment Feel healthier, sleep better and get more done!

In this episode, I discuss the profound concept of "returning to source" - the idea that at our core, we are inherently good and have the capacity to nurture and heal ourselves.  I delve into the societal conditioning that often leads us to believe we are broken or unworthy, and how this mindset can fuel our reliance on external crutches like alcohol. I share the importance of cultivating self-love, presence, and the understanding that we already possess everything we need within ourselves. Throughout the episode, I encourage you to embrace the journey of self-discovery and to recognise your inherent goodness and capacity for healing. Key Takeaways: The concept of "returning to source" is about unmasking and reconnecting with the human being we were meant to be, before societal conditioning told us we were not good enough. At our core, we are inherently good and have the capacity to nurture and heal ourselves, rather than relying on external crutches like alcohol. Societal expectations and the pressure to conform can lead to the development of coping mechanisms and limiting beliefs that no longer serve us, especially in midlife. The journey of self-discovery and learning to hold ourselves with unconditional positive regard is both terrifying and incredibly exciting. programs like the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment and a masterclass on the benefits of taking a break from alcohol can provide valuable and guidance on this transformative path. Embracing our authentic selves and recognising our inherent goodness is the key to lasting change and fulfilment. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Wishing you could stop at that elusive 2nd glass of wine instead of finishing the bottle? Let me show you how easy it can be to go from feeling tired, bloated, overwhelmed and slugglish to jubilantly full of beans and ready to take on the world with my Masterclass & 30 day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment this Sept/October. 🤸‍♀️ FREE Masterclass: 5 Suprising Ways Taking A Break From Booze Can Be Effortless and Change your Life: Wednesday 25th September 7pm Replays Available https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/sep24masterclassreg 🤸‍♀️ The 30 Day Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - LIVE! Monday 30th September-29th October 2024 - 7pm nightly (optional) https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment Feel healthier, sleep better and get more done!  

In this episode of Midlife AF, I dive deep into the topic of servitude - the conditioning many of us, especially women, experience to put the needs of others before our own. I share how this belief system can lead to burnout, resentment, and the need to numb out with alcohol. I challenge the notion that we must always be selfless, and emphasize the importance of putting our own needs first in order to live a fulfilling, alcohol-free life. Through personal stories and insights from my coaching work, I explore how breaking free from the cycle of servitude is key to our liberation and healing. Key Takeaways: The belief that we must always put others before ourselves is a form of conditioning, often ed down through generations of women. This servitude mentality can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and the use of alcohol as a way to cope. In order to live an authentic, alcohol-free life, we must learn to matter most to ourselves - our needs, boundaries, and self-care must take priority. Unlearning the habit of people-pleasing and saying "no" can be incredibly difficult, as we fear being seen as selfish or unlovable. Connecting to our deeper feelings and inner child can help us overcome the fear and shame around prioritizing ourselves. Cultivating self-comion and unconditional self-love is essential for breaking free from the cycle of servitude. When we put ourselves first, we not only heal ourselves, but create a ripple effect of transformation for those around us. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Work with me privately: I have two options for my private 1:1 coaching you can either do a 30 day break with me as your pocket PT with my Em G in Your Pocket package. Or you can do a longer more in-depth 3 month program with me which includes weekly zoom sessions and in between. I recommend doing this is you are worried you can’t do a 30 break from booze or you haven’t done one for a while. Preparation is everything and we get you so damn ready to stop it’s a relief when day 1 arrives! If you are not sure what the best options for you might be you can book an initial 1:1 counselling/ coaching session at $245 for a 90 minute initial consult - you will leave with a plan for your next steps with alcohol and having transformed at least on belief that is keeping you stuck drinking more than you want. If you choose to work with me in a 1:1 30 day or 3 month program - the cost of the initial consult will be refunded: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=43677625  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode of Midlife AF, I explore the concept of alchemy - the process of transforming something ordinary into something extraordinary. I discuss how we all have the power within ourselves to be our own alchemists, to take our struggles and wounds and transmute them into self-love and self-comion. I delve into the roots of emotional hyper-arousal, busy brains, and compulsive behaviors, tracing them back to childhood experiences where our sensitive, big emotions were often dismissed or suppressed. I talk about the importance of "re-parenting" ourselves, of showing up for the wounded inner child and validating their experience. Through this process of self-acceptance and self-nurturing, we can find the peace and freedom we've been searching for, without the need for external crutches like alcohol. It's an empowering message about tapping into our own inner alchemy to create the extraordinary lives we desire. Key Takeaways: Alchemy is the process of transforming the ordinary into the extraordinary - we all have this power within us Sensitive, emotional children are often made to feel their big feelings are unacceptable, leading to wounds and "holes" that we try to fill later in life Re-parenting ourselves, validating our inner child, and showing self-love/comion is the key to healing these wounds We already have everything we need inside to create the peace and freedom we crave - we don't need external substances like alcohol T Tapping into our inner alchemy allows us to transmute our struggles into something precious and life-affirming Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Work with me privately: I have two options for my private 1:1 coaching you can either do a 30 day break with me as your pocket PT with my Em G in Your Pocket package. Or you can do a longer more in-depth 3 month program with me which includes weekly zoom sessions and in between. I recommend doing this is you are worried you can’t do a 30 break from booze or you haven’t done one for a while. Preparation is everything and we get you so damn ready to stop it’s a relief when day 1 arrives! If you are not sure what the best options for you might be you can book an initial 1:1 counselling/ coaching session at $245 for a 90 minute initial consult - you will leave with a plan for your next steps with alcohol and having transformed at least on belief that is keeping you stuck drinking more than you want. If you choose to work with me in a 1:1 30 day or 3 month program - the cost of the initial consult will be refunded: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=43677625  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode of Midlife AF, I have an insightful conversation about the importance of self-love and comion when addressing alcohol use. I explain how our inner critic and tendency to self-flagellate often stems from childhood experiences where our emotions were not fully validated. I talk about how our drinking behaviours are not character flaws, but rather coping mechanisms our subconscious has developed to deal with distress. The key is to approach change with love and understanding for these protective parts of ourselves, rather than harsh judgment. I also discuss the challenges of doing inner work while still drinking, and why taking a break from alcohol can facilitate deeper personal growth.  Episode Highlights: Our inner critic and tendency to self-punish when trying to change drinking behaviours often originates from childhood experiences where our emotions were not fully validated. Drinking behaviours are coping mechanisms, not character flaws - they develop to help us deal with distress and dysregulation. Approaching change with self-love and comion for our protective parts is more effective than harsh self-judgment. Taking a break from alcohol can create space for deeper personal growth and inner work. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Work with me privately: I have two options for my private 1:1 coaching you can either do a 30 day break with me as your pocket PT with my Em G in Your Pocket package. Or you can do a longer more in-depth 3 month program with me which includes weekly zoom sessions and in between. I recommend doing this is you are worried you can’t do a 30 break from booze or you haven’t done one for a while. Preparation is everything and we get get you so damn ready to stop it’s a relief when day 1 arrives! If you are not sure what the best options for you might be you can book an initial 1:1 counselling/ coaching session at $245 for a 90 minute initial consult - you will leave with a plan for your next steps with alcohol and having transformed at least on belief that is keeping you stuck drinking more than you want. If you choose to work with me in a 1:1 30 day or 3 month program - the cost of the initial consult will be refunded: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20808150&appointmentType=43677625  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705  

In this episode of Midlife AF, I discuss the stigma and misconceptions around giving up alcohol. I share my personal journey of stopping drinking at age 46 and the profound awakening and self-discovery that followed. I challenge the notion that only "problem drinkers" or "alcoholics" should stop drinking and argue that alcohol is harmful for everyone. Giving up alcohol is not a punishment, but an opportunity for growth, authenticity, and reclaiming our true selves. Key Takeaways:  The alcohol industry and recovery movement have perpetuated the myth that only "problem drinkers" should stop drinking, creating unnecessary stigma Alcohol is a harmful substance for everyone, not just those labeled as "alcoholics" Stopping drinking can lead to a profound awakening and self-discovery, allowing us to confront our true emotions and live more authentic lives Midlife is a time of great transition and opportunity for growth, and giving up alcohol can be a powerful catalyst for this process We need to stop being so compliant and start "rattling the cage" to create the lives we truly want My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I discuss the concept of "rebirthing" and how we go through many different "skins" or versions of ourselves throughout our lives. I talk about the shame and stigma often associated with struggling with alcohol, and how my approach to helping people change their relationship with alcohol is focused on understanding the reasons behind our drinking, rather than just trying to abstain through willpower alone. Takeaways:  Rebirthing and shedding our "skins" is a natural part of the human experience, especially for women in midlife Shame and stigma around alcohol use can make it harder to make lasting changes My approach focuses on understanding the reasons behind our drinking, not just trying to abstain through willpower ing a ive community and program can be a game-changer in changing our relationship with alcohol Self-comion and not beating ourselves up when we "fall off the wagon" is crucial Underlying factors like trauma, neurodivergence, and other life experiences can play a big role in our relationship with alcohol My Coached Events & Programs Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset LIVE here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/reset  Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode of Midlife AF, I discuss the crucial importance of emotional safety and how it relates to the alcohol-free journey. I share my personal experiences and insights on how suppressing difficult emotions through alcohol use can be a form of spiritual bying, and how societal expectations around happiness and resilience can further compound this issue. I also chat about the need to create inner safety and validation for ourselves, rather than relying on external coping mechanisms like alcohol.  Key Takeaways: Emotional safety is a crucial foundation for sustainable alcohol-free living. Suppressing difficult emotions through alcohol use or spiritual bying can prolong problems rather than resolve them. We must reparent ourselves with emotionally regulated care and validation, rather than judgment and unrealistic expectations. Finding true joy and fulfilment comes from exploring our interests and ions, not external validation or coping mechanisms. Creating inner safety and self-acceptance is the path to freedom and growth. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

This week we are exploring the concept of the "just world theory" and how it relates to our tendency to blame victims, especially when it comes to issues around alcohol and adversity. I share personal experiences of being bullied and isolated, and how that impacted my sense of self and emotional processing. I also chat about the importance of validating our feelings, even the difficult ones, and how practices like Somatic Experiencing, breathwork, and internal family systems work have helped me learn to sit with and process my emotions. Key Takeaways:  The "just world theory" suggests that bad things don't happen to good people, leading to victim-blaming and isolation for those experiencing hardship. Childhood experiences of not being allowed to feel our emotions can lead to a lifelong struggle with numbness, disconnection, and control anxiety. Validating our own experiences and feelings, rather than dismissing them, is crucial for mental wellness and self-care. Reaching out to friends and loved ones who are hurting, even if they don't immediately respond, can make a significant difference. Continuing to explore practices like internal family systems, parts work, and improving interoceptive awareness can help us better process our experiences and emotions. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

This week I dive deep into the complex relationship between alcohol and excitement. As women in midlife, many of us have come to associate drinking with feelings of anticipation and thrill. But is this excitement real, or are we chasing a false sense of vitality? me as I unpack the psychology behind our drinking habits, explore how our identities are tied to alcohol, and discover ways to reclaim our natural vibrancy without relying on external substances. Key Takeaways:  I explain why we often mistake anxiety for excitement, especially when it comes to alcohol We discuss how childhood experiences shape our adult behaviours and coping mechanisms I share insights on the 'theory of holes' and how it relates to our pursuit of excitement We explore the concept of creating safety within ourselves instead of seeking it through drinking I offer practical advice on how to cultivate genuine excitement and joy in midlife We delve into the importance of understanding our true selves beyond societal expectations I reveal personal experiences with ecstatic dancing as a means of emotional processing We examine how alcohol often promises freedom but delivers the opposite I provide strategies for building a relationship with ourselves that fosters natural vibrancy We discuss the journey of creating internal safety as a path to authentic living in midlife This episode is a must-listen for any woman in midlife questioning her relationship with alcohol and seeking to rediscover her innate vitality and joy. Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705

In this episode, I sit down with Amanda Lockyer, an expert on ing families and spouses of those struggling with addiction. Amanda shares her personal journey and insights on navigating the complexities of relationships affected by addiction. We discuss the challenges of enabling, setting boundaries, and prioritising self-care while ing a loved one. Key takeaways:  Addiction impacts the whole family, not just the individual struggling The pursuit of "fixing" a loved one's addiction can become all-consuming Labeling and shaming are unhelpful approaches when ing someone with addiction Setting healthy boundaries is crucial but requires self-awareness and practice Recovery is a journey, not a destination - for both the individual and their loved ones Self-care and maintaining your own well-being is essential when ing someone else Connection with boundaries is key in ing a loved one with addiction Episode links & Resources Learn more about Amanda at https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/  Follow Amanda on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/  Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705  

I'm discussing the links between disappointment, people-pleasing behaviours, and alcohol use in midlife women. We'll explore concepts like unmet expectations, examining our beliefs and needs, and letting go of seeking external validation. I also share insights on cultural conditioning, trauma, and finding your authentic identity beyond societal pressures. Episode Highlights Include: Disappointment stems from unmet and unexpressed expectations People pleasing behaviours are often trauma responses from childhood Examining one's expectations is important for avoiding resentment Radical acceptance and living in the present can help manage disappointment Women often turn to alcohol as a substitute for validation and praise Cultural conditioning impacts our constructed personalities Traumatic experiences are common but often go unacknowledged Working through trauma is necessary to find one's true self Self-care and asking for help are important parts of well-being Episode links & Resources Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching My Coached Events & Programs: Emma's VIP ELITE experience here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/offers/k7AXMNPG  Emma's Be The Lighthouse hip here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/bethelighthouse  Get Emma's Visualisation audio at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation  Emma's Awareness worksheets for people wanting to prepare prior to taking a break from drinking or reduce their drinking by being more mindful about what and why they drink https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in  Emma's 5 Day Alcohol Reset for people looking to take a quick reset https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/fivedayreset  The Self-Paced Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment at https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/aae  Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midlife-af-podcast/id1649673705